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Moral, feeling, want of
Antagonism, with himself
Del, dirty, he is
Del, heart disease, is going to have, and die
Fear, duties, she will become unable to perform her
Del lie, all she said is a
Del, unreal, everything seems
Del diminished, all is
Del looked down upon, she is
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- A patient an executive in business as per his report he has been busy in all sorts of immoral acts enjoying life al the cost of the family interest by suppressing his conscience which was opposing him very strongly, all the time.
- Now he has gone down in his own eyes.
- Feels he is not a good person, that he is full of filthy and undesirable intentions.
- He apprehends heart disease and fears that he will die. He says, he is fearful of tuberculosis and the heart disease as both of them are fatal. It means death.
- To him death means denial of performing his duties towards his family. This he does not want.
- He wants to live. But he is doubtful of his efforts for recovery ending in success.
- He knows that he is still not sincere in his duties towards his dependents.
- He says all that he speaks about his duties is not true.
- In reality he wants to be fit to resume his immoral acts. That is why he feels doubtful whether a sinner like him can be pardoned.
- He says, “People tell me to go to holy men to seek their their blessings, to pay visits to temples, to perform rituals and pray for pardon and relief.
- Sometimes I do so. But that is useless, because my mind works in the other direction.
- I feel like stealing from the offerings others have made to the deity which are scattered at HIS feet and are unguarded.
- With this mean attitude how can a person expect cure?” This trail of thoughts ends in hopelessness of his recovery.
- He feels he has lost everything so far as his dignity is concerned.
- He has gone down in the eyes of others.
- He is lowered in size and stature which he once had built with his abilities and work.
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- Morose
- Light, desire for
- Fear heart, disease of Fear, consumption of
- Anxiety, success, from doubt about
- Despair recovery, of
- Del, diminished, short, he is
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DELUSIONS sick, being
Del dying, he is
Fear, downward motion of
Fear, falling of,
Del, vision, horrible
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- Whatever is left is unhealthy and gradually finishing. To all his friends he has been writing about his own mean intentions.
- Therefore when he looks inward at his deeds, he feels he is on the wane and is definitely going to fall.
- Again he tries to consulate himself with the idea that there are many others who are indulging in immoral activities, even worse than him and nothing is happening to them.
- Then why should he worry about it.
- Perhaps the reality is too hard for him and that’s why he is trying to escape from his thoughts about his bad deeds.
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- Writing, meanness's to her friends
- Fear, duties, she will become unable to perform her
- Antagonism, with himself
- Sensitive light, to
- Del, vision, beautiful
- Del, voices, hears
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Del floating in air
Del air, he is hovering in, like a spirit
Del light, incorporeal he is
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- But in the end he realizes, that it is like consoling himself with a false belief and like closing his eyes on reality.
- This way the few moments of twinkling hope vanish.
- He is hoping against hope, and tries to search out a source of solace which he feels he will get only when he tries to be honest.
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Disgust, Body his own
Lac-c, Sul
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